1. Circles

    Sometimes I get these ideas in my head
    Especially when I haven’t slept
    Tomorrow’s morning rolls around
    And I’m not quite in the present
    I make a scrapbook of my past
    Cutting it up into an idealistic future

    But none of it makes sense
    Because things aren’t the same anymore
    Friends moved away
    New ones were made
    You left
    I found someone that wants to stay

    But you’re coming home tomorrow
    Or is that today?
    You know how the time change
    Fucks with the days
    See, I’m wandering again,
    Getting lost in the words
    The point I can’t seem to make
    Is that even though everything is different
    I’m still the same
    My feelings haven’t changed


  2. "
    1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

      2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

      3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

      4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

      5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

      6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

      7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

      8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

      9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

      10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

      11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

      12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

      14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

      15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

      16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

    Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness  (via baimbie)

    I used to love these

    (via numbstars)

    (Source: emma-elsworthy, via ashtheblueeyedpoet)


  3. Limits

    Do not confine me by those trademark expectations
    You know me better than that
    Do not imply that I need permission
    To do as I please
    I did not ever let you tell me what I could or could not do
    Why the fuck would I have changed for him
    When I didn’t even do that for you?


  4. Condenced

    I don’t understand
    How you can fill me with utter elation
    And fury
    Mixed with desolation
    All at the same time
    In a single conversation
    Consisting of a few lines

  5. There are four other ones attacking me at the moment…This one is content to just watch for now and impinge on my attempt to write something.


  6. Him vs. You

    I think I figured out
    The difference
    Between you and him
    He’s comfortable
    It’s peaceful, something like the way sleep
    Is supposed to be (Nothing like my violent dreams)
    Even the sex, it’s like we’ve been together for years
    It’s casual and nice
    But with you…
    I had the comfort too
    Easy as breathing
    But you made my heart race
    Every time I saw you
    Even the regular nights were exciting
    And a minor touch
    Could make the butterflies in my stomach
    Go wild
    But there was more than that
    I was happy to just lay with you
    Linger in the darkness
    Struggle to stay awake just to be with you a little longer
    But with him…There are no butterflies
    Maybe there is lust
    But with you…There was love too.


  7. Stubborn

    I want you to know that I’m not giving up
    That I still love you
    And always will
    Until my last breath
    I will never stop trying
    Will never stop wishing for
    Another chance
    But I also know
    That right now
    Isn’t the right time
    And that I have to wait
    But that does not mean
    That I have given up


  8. Old Habits

    I can’t lie to you and promise
    That this isn’t going to change
    But I do promise that I’ll try
    And that I won’t just go the easy way
    Even though it’s habit now
    And tempting beyond words
    You don’t know all my vices
    Trust in shadows always leads to pain


  9. Nobody Understands Us

    1. Jayme: I want to smoke.
    2. Me: I want to fuck. We can't always get what we want though.
    3. Jayme: But sometimes...YOU GET WHAT YOU NEEEEEED!
    4. Me: ... -.-

  10. "I wonder if you know yet that you’ll leave me. That you are a child playing with matches and I have a paper body. You will meet a girl with a softer voice and stronger arms and she will not have violent secrets or an affection for red wine or eyes that never stay dry. You will fall into her and I’ll go back to spending Friday nights with ones who never learn my last name. I have chased off every fool who has tried to sleep beside me. You think it’s romantic to fuck the girl who writes poems about you. You think I’ll understand your sadness because I live inside my own. But I will show up at your door at 2am, wild eyed and sleepless and try and find some semblance of peace in your breastbone and you will not let me in. You will tell me to go home."